FaerySpiritMuse

2006-01-06T15:30:00.000-08:00

2005-12-23T00:25:00.000-08:00

This is such a beautiful blog, I love the layout and the feel of it. But hard to keep up with and I think it doesn't receive as much attention as my myspace blog. I'm debating whether I should shut these blogs down and stick with myspace, spares confusion and less time to keep up on. Anyone have any thoughts?

2005-12-16T20:20:00.000-08:00

I'm a TEACHER!!!!

I can't believe I am FINALLY finished. I can't believe college is over, Student Teaching is over and I'm officially an Elementary School Teacher!!! I am overwhelmed with emotions, bittersweet ones. I am going to miss my class so much! *sighs* But I am planning on subbing in the school until I get a teaching position, so the kids know they will see me in the hallway, but it's definitely not the same. Tomorrow is graduation, but I won't be walking. I'll be hanging out with my friends though.

I have been observing 1st-4th grade this week in the morning to get a feel for each grade. This morning my teacher said it would be a good thing to go observe PreK now, so I went down there. I thought it was a little strange, considering it isn't part of elementary school, but never pass up the chance to be with my favorite age. I miss PreK so much and I think eventually I will get my P-3 Early Childhood cert. The kids don't come in until 9 so I was considering going back to my room until then, but PreK teacher said, "Oh, actually if you can cut out these stockings for me, that would be great." So I did. Well, when I went back to my classroom my coop. gave me the heads up that the kids are throwing me a party.

One little girl, my chatty one, gave me a bouquet of carnations. I was given a few cards and gifts by some of the kids. The kids were being sneaky, they were whispering and giggling and kept looking over at me. I acted very curious. They got napkins out, but didn't get their snacks, so I acted confused as to why they weren't getting snack. They kept the secret right up til the last minute, and at that time I pretended I hadn't heard it. We had cupcakes and fruit punch. They had made a class book of pictures they drew with sentences about/to me. The class also gave me a Barnes and Nobles gift certificate for my "congraduation," as they called my graduation.

I made little personalized Winter coloring books for them and a treat bag with crayons, a holiday pencil and stickers. They worked on the coloring book after math and at the end of the day I gave them the bags to take home. They seemed to like them. They all gave me great big hugs. A few told me they loved me and they all said they would miss me and because I'm "So fun to teach." My one little girl who is very attached to me, her mom told me last week that all her daughter does it talk about me and it will be hard when I leave, she gave me an extra long hug. When they were dismissed she was holding her mom's hand looking at me. I looked back at her and she turned away and her mom whispered "She was crying lastnight because she doesn't want you to leave." AWWWWW!!!!

I enjoyed 1st and 2nd grade, but I still love Kindergarten over the rest, and PreK. So now, I submit the paper work, and wait for the state to send me my license.

I still cannot believe it! I think it will take awhile for reality to sink in. :)

2005-11-22T20:09:00.000-08:00

1st Job Application

Well, I just applied for my first Teaching job! There is a kindergarten position open a few towns away. It is open due to a leave of absence, which means the job starts Jan. 1st. I'm hoping the position isn't filled yet and that I can get an interview. It would be awesome to get a job right out of Student Teaching, in Kindergarten!!

2005-11-21T18:30:00.000-08:00

Another New SpiritStory

The story I was writing has been put on hold. I have now begun writing a new one. This one is inspired by experience, family members and by people I have watched who devote their lives to animals. This is a sensitive subject and I am finding this one emotionally difficult to write. But I think in the end it might touch some hearts. In any case, this story will lead to the Rainbow Bridge

2005-11-15T15:33:00.000-08:00

Trickster

~Trickster~
By: FaerySpiritMuse

Trickster
you mesmerize
and tantalize
my senses
I lust for you
in the dark hours
my body aching
for your magic touch
a whirlwind of energy
sweeping me off my feet
never knowing when
I will come back down
Coyote grin
free spirited
lover,fool
Raven eyes
far seeing
all knowing
Fox spirit
energized, virile
pulsing with life
amusing
confusing
adept in the
art of losing
forcing your
ways upon me
break through
my walls
tear down
outworn thoughts
catalyst to growth
mirroring my soul
release
let go.

11/14/05

Ah the trickster has been showing up in my life in the guise of different people-mostly the male variety. He entices, but he also confuses. He doesn't mean to turn your world upside down, it's his medicine. He doesn't do it for harm, he is a great teacher. Lighten up! Mind, the trickster may also be female, like the Kitsune of Japan, the fox shapeshifting women. They mirror us, often forcing us to face realizations and truths about ourselves, often uncomfortable. Showing our shadow side, I suppose the ID to our egoes. I have been dancing with trickster lately and he has turned my life topsy-turvy, but I have learned from him. I am hoping now that the lesson is learned and I have let go, that he will find someone else to dance with. He demands so much energy!

Info on Trickster

and

Coyote Madonna an awesome on-line magazine devoted to the Trickster and art and the art of words!

Also, fantasy artist Stephanie Pui-Mun Law has incredible Kitsune art, along with mythology and mystical art.

2005-11-14T14:19:00.000-08:00

"The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation!"

SICK AGAIN!!! *Sigh* Those li'l munchkins keep getting me sick. But I have two things to look forward to.

4 more days until HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE (my favoritest book of the series) is out in theaters!!!!!

and next week?

9 more days until RENT, one of my most favorite musicals is out in theaters!!!!!! "The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation"

I haven't been this excited about movies coming out in theater probably since LOTR.

My sister better have some time so we can go see RENT together. We saw it on Broadway with our chorus class in HS and is probably one of our favorites. We couldn't stop crying. We sing the songs all the time. We always joke saying that she would be Maureen simply because guys AND girls are always hitting on her. *shakes head* I don't have that problem.

2005-11-07T22:06:00.000-08:00

Nostalgia

~Nostalgia~
11/8/05

Go away, Nostalgia

You are not wanted here

Oh Friend of mine who

Puts the longing

In my heart

Take a hike

And leave me be

Keeps those memories

Locked up for

Another time

When I have the energy

To take them out

Of the little box

That holds

Such precious

Moments

Another time

Another place

Another song

Another half

Familiar face

Stay hidden

In the dark

Attic of my mind

One day I’ll be ready

to clear those cobwebs

of days gone by

entangled in todays

and dust off the shelf

and embrace tomorrows.

~~~~

Probable Future done by the same artist as Unwavering

2005-11-06T21:35:00.000-08:00

Unwavering: Inspired by-Unwritten Tale: ThisYear'sGirl's art

Unwavering
10/29/05

She stood
her gaze fixed
on the horizon
the dark, dank
marsh seeming like
it would claim her
thunderclouds rolling in
her pledge unwavering
he had requested she
meet him out there
secluded and an unlikely
place for the others
to look for her
she took ironic comfort
from the crane at her side
a symbol of her previous lives
a karmic debt
she needed to repay
once the task was complete
she could forget the past
and continue on with this life
but until then, she was
trapped by circumstance
how much longer
would she have to bear
the pain?
He wasn't coming
she knew that in
her grieving heart
and yet she
continued to wait
ever vigilent
searching for a sign
of his return
an empty yearning.

2005-10-31T18:35:00.000-08:00

Gypsy and Raven: It's In The Cards

The story is complete and up at literotica. I started one for my friend, about a vampire (of course) and a girl in a wheel chair. It was three pages and then I handed it over for her to continue. She said she'd rather me continue it for her, but it's my gift to her and I know she will turn it into an amazing story! I won't post the link here because it is X-rated and I know there are younger people that come here. If you'd like the link to read the new story, or any of my previous erotica pieces, leave me a note or e-mail me.

2005-10-23T15:40:00.000-07:00

*SIGH* I'm so sick of my body ruling me and my life. Let's see how this week goes.

2005-10-22T21:05:00.000-07:00

Fading again...

Fading again
into the recesses
of an escapist mind
fatigue seizes
and pain blinds
another mountain
to try to climb
for what
to have security
and benefits
and try for a
"normal" life?
It's a joke
and i'm a freak
and my path leads me
away from public pride
my destiny lies
with the otherside
relentless
and demanding
no peace in sight
spirits gather
and entities
require
my time
stories to
be written
and released
to the light
my soul is weary
and patience tried.

10/23/05

2005-10-20T20:42:00.000-07:00

It is done.

It is complete, Aengus Og(or more familiar Eros) has inspired me and the story is finally finished, at 15 pages long!

2005-10-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

Hmm perhaps a taste of the story to whet the appetite:

Arden had been watching the girl from an oak branch a few feet away. She intrigued him and he desired her for his own. She was a strong sorceress, although she was only beginning to learn her powers. He thought he might be able to help her hone her skills. He had timed things perfectly. Her tarot cards fell out of the bag, just as he made his way toward the exotic bloom. He towered over her. A shadow fell over Leona, blocking the sun. She looked up, clutching the Devil card in her hand. She gasped seeing the man before her. He had cropped black hair and intense turquoise eyes, or were they simply reflecting her jewelry? She searched around for Raul, trying to mentally grab his attention, but he was nowhere to be seen. The man bent down and helped her pick up the cards. He handed them to her and as his hands touched hers the hair on her skin prickled up. She leaped away from him.

“Thank you.” She said, but he grabbed her hand before she could stand up. She felt dizzy with the touch and sat down where she was. Still, his hands held hers. He looked over their hands and spotted the Devil card.

“What does that card mean?” His voice was smooth and had a deep timbre to it. It was like music to her ears. “The Devil. Am I?” He mused, asking her playfully.

“It means ambition, wild abandon, and excess.” She answered.

“Temptation, seduction, danger, control.” The man finished.

“Reversed it means confronting fears, overcoming.” Leona continued, trying to concentrate on the meaning of the card.

“Control.” He said, running his fingers up her dark arm. She took a deep breath.

“No, freedom from bondage, releasing of the chains that bind.” She finished.

“I see, and was the card right side up or reversed?” He inquired. His eyes penetrating her shield.

“It landed sideways.” She said weakly.

“If you had to pick?” She felt a tingling at the back her head which always served as a warning for her. She grabbed the card and stood up, moving away from him.

2005-10-19T19:45:00.000-07:00

New writing.

I have a new SpiritStory in the works. I am also working on a new erotica story as well, a fantasy. It's a continuation of my last one with the shapeshifting lion goddess. This one features tarot, a shapeshifting raven and a gypsy artist who is truly much more than she seems.

2005-10-14T18:41:00.000-07:00

This is the first moment I've gotten to sit down and relax all week. I had my second observation by my supervisor today. Things went well. I thought I'd have time to write this week, but lesson plans and furbaby-sitting and cleaning consumed my time. But my parents are coming back in the wee hours of the morning. I have successfully improved upon my lesson and it's fall and my favorite day is just around the corner. I am trying to go with the flow and not get frustrated, but with this body it's sometimes hard to do.

I have had the house to myself and have been blasting my music and concerts/movies on surround sound and loved it! I am now totally immersed in HBO's ROME-can't wait for next week. My dad started watching it from the beginning and I finally had time to read the past episodes and get caught up. I don't like Sopranos and Dead Wood just didn't hold my interest, but ROME mhmm good stuff.

2005-10-06T20:24:00.000-07:00

Disheartened. I've already vented to more than enough people about this. But I feel like I'm living a double life. Many other occupations wouldn't be as highly scrutinized and held to such high standards as teachers, esp. public school teachers. Other occupations wouldn't care about my spiritual life. My spiritual life isn't just an interest, it is who I am, it is why I am here on this Earth in this time. I am here to help people and spirits spiritually. Specifically I am here to help sensitive children. I have students that are sensitive and crystal and indigo children and I can help them, but it's off limits: spirituality. I am unable to guide and teach these children how to survive in this harsh, fast paced world. It tears me in two. We have a child that exhibits all signs of autism, and I see him staring off into space, as people assume they do. Only it's not space he's staring at, he is staring at spirits and is affected by energy. I wish there were I way I could give him a crystal that would help calm him, teach him to touch and pet the stone when he feels frustrated and the like, help him shield, not be scared. But I can't! I have a little crystal in class as well, he hears my thoughts, he's very affectionate and sensitive. He seems to calm the other child. I was trying to speak to the other child with my mind, telepathically, speaking to him softly. I asked him to look at me, and what happens? The other little boy stares straight at me, right into my eyes, and grinned at me. I said in my head, "not you silly, I was talking to So-and-So." Then I was very dizzy and had to sit down. I sat down when no one was watching and over comes my little sensitive and hugs me for a moment then walks back to his seat. SO frustrating!

To add to that my body is pissed off at me. I am getting over bronchitis which would knock anyone off course, but with the fibro I am flaring ontop of everything else. My knees are weak and I'm in so much pain. It's been suggested that maybe a higher grade would be less taxing on me, but I remind people that it would be worse-because at least with kindergarten I am able to sit when the children sit on the rug. Everyone is reminding me to stop being so hard on myself. My brother reminded me that this is like a full-time job and I'm not used to standing so long, ever. But I can't just say to my coop. teacher that I'm in pain and need to sit down. I can't even let anyone in that school know about my health problems, because it could affect my chances of getting hired (even though that would be considered discrimination). I'm trying to breathe, center, and be patient.

To add to it, my parents are going away for a week and I have to take care of the animals, which means waking up super early and vaccuming and dusting etc. ARGH!!!
*sigh* *cry*

2005-10-02T20:07:00.000-07:00

Well I'm getting observed tomorrow. The stronger antibiotics finally kicked in, but my chest hurts from all the coughing I did. Miss Rissa was here all day. We put up halloween decorations and played hair salon and colored. But I'm exhausted! Hopefully tomorrow will go smoothly. I hope our one student doesn't act out and cause commotion; scream, cry, rip things. My supervisor already knows about him and told me not to worry about that, but how can I not? I hope my voice will be less froggy tomorrow.

2005-09-30T18:34:00.000-07:00

updated ella luna

2005-09-28T17:10:00.000-07:00

Bronchitis: I was supposed to have my first supervised observation tomorrow. I went to the Dr. cause my chest has gotten worse and I have bronchitis. He said, "You aren't to return to the school until Monday, you will have to reschedule." *sighs* My supervisor understands, as does my coop. but I'm bummed, because I am so prepared right now and ready to do the lesson and now I have to wait, not just for Monday to come, but maybe even wait to be observed the following week-twice. My coop. won't be there on Monday and my super. doesn't think it would be fair to make me do the lesson just when I'm getting back and feeling better. Super. isn't going to be around from tues-fri, so coop. left it up to me. *sigh again*

2005-09-26T15:06:00.000-07:00

Sick! :( Strep is going around the school, left early. Actually I think I was getting sick last week. But Ren. Faire was totally worth it. Back to bed.

2005-09-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

Busy Busy BUSY being a Student Teacher. I have to update my KinderFaery blog too. Going away for the weekend for the PA Ren. Faire. A little bit concerned about how I'm going to get all my lesson plans and organization done, when I'm not getting home until some time Sunday. One good thing, my Supervisor changed my Observation day to Thursday instead of Tuesday. This gives me more time to become more comfortable with the material. Back to School Night is tonight, I'm not sure how late that will run. I'm a little nervous meeting all the parents and guardians of my li'l ones.

2005-09-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

Ren faire time today (a traveling one) and then guess what!? Next week we're going to the PA Ren. Faire! I'm so excited. I'm not wearing me wings today though, I flipped my bodice over since it is reversible. A few months ago I couldn't fit into it, but now I do and I have true cleavage. *LOL* Hoping to find the crystals I have been looking for and maybe checking out the handsome knights and rogues. Or NOT-men *rolls eyes* Actually I'm trying to find a unicorn or dragon puppet.

2005-09-13T17:24:00.000-07:00

test

2005-09-13T17:19:00.000-07:00

Wow, I have gotten 2 e-mails in the past couple days from my Stockton MysticSpirit blog. One was from a woman who lost her baby and wanted to ask how she could better connect with her daughter. She also told me about her special magical child, the baby's twin sister. Another e-mail came from someone that read about the sweet Cedar Waxwing bird encounter I had. She's had a similiar experience and has actually brought her Cedar fledgling into the house to care for it. Just when I was about to shut the site down...I am still transferring to my angelfire account and will be posting at my EllaLunaSpirit blog. I'm glad to see some responses though, that way I know people still read the blog. I will go over and update the other two now.

KinderFaery

2005-09-11T00:18:00.000-07:00

Ella Luna: MysticSpirit WOOHOO I have another blog. I'm blog-obsessed. I don't trust school's server which is why I'm slowly moving everything here. Click for Ella Luna my spirit site.

2005-09-06T21:49:00.000-07:00

KinderFaery! I have another new blog, this one for my Student Teaching with a kindergarten class. You can follow the faery to:KinderFaery

:) :) :)

2005-09-05T16:35:00.000-07:00

Creepy crawlers: I had a weird insect dream lastnight. I was at this woman's house with my animals and she was insect sitting her college-age daughter's bug collection. The bugs got out of their screened in room and were crawling all over me. I was OK with most of the bugs, but the spiders came out and I freaked and that's when I woke up. Yucky.

2005-09-04T01:04:00.000-07:00

Who isn't afraid of getting their heart broken? Relationships are a lot of work and take a lot of energy. Sometimes they are worth it, and if they aren't the kind that are worth it, there's no point in continuing with them. Karmic ties and past life relations will remain in ones life until they have dealt with them. You might never want to see that person again or have them in your life, but if there's a reason they are there, it isn't going to be easy running from the past.

I have two different paths on either side of me. Although these paths are not hidden, they're dancing with shadows and kissed by mist and must be awoken. One leads to the ocean and the other leads to rolling green hills.

I never asked for this. I love to look at the ocean, to see the moonlight shimmer on the surface, to see the sun set the water on fire. Digging my toes into the cool sand on a summer’s evening, is relaxing to me. But I am terrified of the ocean. The waves intimidate me and I fear that I will be sucked into an undertow, as I was when I was a child. I am afraid of sharks and jellyfish and crabs. These are normal reasons to not to want to go into the ocean, but they are not the true reasons. The waves are the true reason. Ever since I was little I have had recurring tidal wave dreams. Now, I know many people have these kind of dreams, but mine are vivid, and I am emotionally involved in these dreams. I am trying to help people escape the waves. Sometimes I succeed and save some people. But most times, I fail. I saw the wave of debris from 9-11, three nights before it happened. I had a tidal wave dream before the Tsunami. I saw the storm surges nights before Hurricane Katrina. In that particular vision, there were several waves that would overtake the land. But no matter...this destroyer, this protector; I must face the ocean. I must embrace that part of me that cannot live without the ocean. I know this.

Rolling green hills lead to power of the elements, the conjured storm, love and grief that will not let go.

It's much easier to be alone. Loneliness can be a comfortable friend. Sometimes loneliness is the best lover.

I'm not going to run, although that is what I want to do, because I know both these paths lead home. I wait.

2005-09-03T19:15:00.000-07:00

~Caught In a Trance~

We hold each other close
and long to stay just so
in your eyes I see my dreams
even ones I don’t yet know
our hearts soar and energies surge
as together you and I, our
souls and bodies do merge
like a bowing willow
we bend and entwine
to the heights of sensation
our passion does climb
strumming and humming
our heart beats dance
thrumming drumming
we’re caught in a trance.

2005-09-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

I have been searching and searching and searching for the perfect blog skin. This one I love,except the writing in the sidebars is too tiny. There's one that's equal to this one but it was created for Diaryland use and I don't know how to adapt it for blogger. *sigh* Isn't this faery just gorgeous?

I ADAPTED the DiaryLand one and this is the result!

2005-09-01T00:07:00.000-07:00

This is my first post, I am hoping I have finally found a Blog home. I have tried so many different places but nothing felt like home. We'll see!